Astrology is so stupid


A Case for 'Believing' in Mercury Retrograde

We may yearn for a time when the spiritual leaders in our villages and communities were all the guidance we needed. They say the only constant is change, but there is one more: your worth. I know sometimes it feels like you have to know for sure who you are and what you want.


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It feels like maturity. It feels like moral goodness. It feels safe.


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    Astrology superstar Susan Miller: 'I can really respond to people online'

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    I'm an astrologer, here to give you some ancient guidance for modern life. We all have them. For example, a Cancer can never stop blabbering over brunch about how they still feel abandoned, even though their breakup was three months ago.

    Scientists Behind New Zodiac Signs Think You're Stupid | CafeMom

    Meanwhile, another friend just got dumped last night. The world would be an easier place if Cancers could simply remember that other people also have feelings—maybe ask everyone else how their weekend was before you plunge into your emotional crisis that everyone has already heard about? As anyone who has dated a Cancer can tell you, they are moody as hell, and they can be extremely thin-skinned despite their tough crab shells. If some jerk throws out one mean remark, Cancer will feel incredibly wounded, spin out, and spend all night rehashing it.

    Cancers also tend to overreact when their lovers have bad days. The secret to dating a Cancer is tell them you believe in them percent and that they are gorgeous, talented, and destined for success. They will perk right up and get so sentimental and saccharine towards that you may feel like vomiting—but at least it will get them to stop being such a crybaby.

    In intimacy and in work, Cancers struggle with criticism.

    We are all human beings, and we all make mistakes. Part of being in a relationship is that your partner is going to call you on your shit when you screw up.

    What the fuck is wrong with you people?

    Cancers take such garden-variety criticism too personally, and they misperceive accountability as people hating them deeply. This flaw becomes particularly ironic when Cancers overreact and lash out, defensively calling others out without any reservation. The moon rules Cancer. As adults, we all must leave the nest and make it on our own in the wild.

    How You Might Come to Believe You've Been Abducted by an Alien

    Cancer is a water sign, and Cancer season coincides with the annual flooding of the Nile in Egypt. This flood fertilized the soil for the year and led to an abundant harvest.


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    This symbolism is crucial for understanding Cancers: They experience emotions as overwhelming floods.

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